Artificial (friend) intelligence

Girlhood in the Age of AI: Growing Up with the Machine

Girlhood is no longer what it used to be. Once shaped by families, neighborhoods, boy talks and hand-me-down wisdom, it now unfolds under the soft glow of screens and the silent influence of algorithms and social media challenges. Artificial intelligence isn’t just in the background—it’s helping raise a generation.

From the moment a girl logs onto TikTok or Instagram, she’s being watched, measured, and fed content that slowly shapes her. The algorithm learns her faster than her friends do. She doesn't need to repeat herself to the “algo”, it simply gets her. It tells her what’s beautiful, what’s funny, what’s worth sharing. It doesn’t care about her well-being—it cares about engagement. So she scrolls, and the algorithm shows her more: skincare routines, aesthetic edits, dangerous diets dressed up as lifestyle hacks, soft filters, boy bands and soft-core perfection. Every swipe adds a layer to her idea of who she should be or who she could possibly be if she follows the 6:30 ASMR vidéo she just watched.

AI is also altering how girls present themselves to the world. Filters smooth skin, shrink noses, lighten eyes. It's easy, even fun—but the line between play and self-image blurs fast. Some girls don’t want to post a photo without editing it. Some don’t want to be seen at all. When your digital self is cleaner, cooler, prettier—how do you live in your real one?

Even friendship is changing. Some girls now talk to AI companions for advice, comfort, company and yes, crash out sessions. It’s safe, controllable, always available. But it’s also different. These relationships aren’t reciprocal; they’re simulations. Yet for some, they feel more reliable than people.

AI is not just a tool anymore—it’s part of growing up. It shapes dreams, anxieties, identities. It makes girlhood more connected, more expressive, but also more curated and more vulnerable. The machine is always listening. And sometimes, it’s the loudest voice in the room.